Withnail & I - Famous Lines by Withnail

• We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now.

• We've gone on holiday by mistake.

• I feel like a pig shat in my head.

• I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze.

The official screenplay includes quotes that didn't make the film.

• I want something's flesh.

• Don't threaten me with a dead fish.

• I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.

• I have a heart condition. If you hit me, it's murder.

• Look at that. "Accident Blackspot"? These aren't accidents. They're throwing themselves into the road gladly. Throwing themselves into the road to escape all this hideousness.

• Warm up? We may as well sit round this cigarette. This is ridiculous. We'll be found dead in here next spring.

• What happened to my cigar commercial? What happened to my agent? Bastard must have died.

• These are the sort of windows faces look in at.

• Right, here's the plan. First, we go in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each, means we'll miss out on Monday and come up smiling Tuesday morning.

• This place has become impossible. Nothing to eat, freezing cold and now a madman on the prowl outside with eels.

• If I ever see that silage-heap hanging about up here, I'll take the bastard axe to him. Bastards!

• Throw yourself into the road, darling - you haven't got a chance.

• I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. I've absolutely no interest in yours. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine.

• I must say, that represents a level of hypocrisy in you that I'd previously suspected, but not noticed due to your highly evasive skills.

• Why can't I have an audition? It's ridiculous. I've been to drama school. I'm good looking. I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the rubbish that gets on television. Why can't I get on television?